All we need is….Ravi Bopara, Ravi Bopara


Billy 'The Trumpet' Cooper


An ode to England’s ‘twelfth man’ in the wake of the superb victory at the MCC. I have put together some of my favorite barmy army chants, enjoy.

Ricky Pointing
Ponting is the captain
Of the Aussie cricket team
But once the match is over
He is a gay drag queen

Ponting’s special friend
Is a man called Glenn McGrath
You’ll see them holding hands
At the Sydney Mardi Gras

Shane Warne’s Villa

(To the tune of Amarillo)

Show me the way to Shane Warne�s Villa
He’s got his diet pills under his pilla
A dodgy bookie from Manila
Nursey’s on her mobile phone

Repeat x3

La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Fat Git!
La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Take a bung
La-la lar la-la la-la lar,
Warney where’s your mobile phone?

Graeme Swann
(to the tune of Champagne Supernova)

How many special people came
So many flights we had to change
Where were you when we were in Chennai?

Got hit for four with his first ball
Then took Gambhir and the Wall
Where were you when we were in Chennai?

Some day you will find him
Taking loads of wickets
In a Swanny super over in Chennai

Some day you will find him
Taking loads of wickets
In a Swanny super over, a Swanny super over

Because people believe
That we should never have come here at all
But you and I, will never die
And Graeme Swann is just one reason why, why, why, why…

Jonny Trott

(to the tune of Only Fools and Horses)

Stick your passport in your pocket
And your kitbag in the van
Cos if you want the Ashes
And you don’t mind Saffers
Then brother, he’s your man

Cos where he comes from is no mystery
But he’s gonna lead us home to an Ashes victory
A song for him was driving us beserk
But then we thought that Jonny Trotter works

La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la

Kevin Pietersen

(To the tune of Just A Little)

KP
When you walk out to the crease,
You’re sexy
You are England’s number four
You’ve got a ton to score

(chorus)

Hook! Just a little bit,
Pull! Just a little bit,
Drive! Just a little bit,
Score just a little bit more
KP score a little bit more,

Just a little bit more, just a little bit!

Dont look back in Anger

Slip inside Ricky Ponting’s mind
He’s trying to find
Some new players to play

He wants to play his older team
But that’s just a dream
They’re too old to play

He said he’d start a revolution in his head
But he’s been through all the players A to Z
Now there’s just a summertime of doom
If he loses the Ashes race
He is going to lose his place
Losing three would simply tear his heart out

So Ricky can wait
Shane Warne is too late

And there’s no Glenn McGrath
Gilchrist’s had his day
And don’t look back to Langer
He cannot play

Where did all those old players go
Now everyone knows
You’ve nearly had your day

You’ll have to leave the team in the hands
Of Michael Clarke and
He’ll throw it all away

He said he’d start a revolution in his head
But he’s been through all the players A to Z
Now there’s just a summertime of doom
If he loses the Ashes race
He is going to lose his place
Losing three would simply tear his heart out

So Ricky can wait
Shane Warne is too late
And there’s no Glenn McGrath
Gilchrist’s had his day
And don’t look back to Langer
He cannot play

So Ricky can wait
Shane Warne is too late
And there’s no Glenn McGrath
Gilchrist’s had his day
And don’t look back to Langer
He cannot play

At least not today

Siddle by Siddle
(to the tune of Little by Little)

Siddle by Siddle,
You bowl us everything we ever dreamed of,
Siddle by Siddle,
The wheels of your team are slowly falling off,
Siddle by Siddle,
You always bowl a ball that goes for 4,
And all the time,
Ponting asks himself why, are you really here?

Why are you really here?
Why are you really here?
Why are you really here?

Alastair Cook
(the the tune of YMCA)

Young man, when you come to the crease
I said young man, let your runs never cease
I said stay there and you’ll score lots of runs,
and you’ll make many more tons

runs runs runs runs runs

It’s England’s number 1

Alastair Cook
It’s England’s Number 1
Alastair Cook

Andrew Strauss
(To the tune of Shout)

Strauss, Strauss
Never gets out,
He plays the shots that we dream about
Come on, we’re talking ’bout you
Come on

Kevin Pietersen
(To the tune of Hi Ho Silver Lining)

And its Hi Ho Super KP
Everywhere we go now Peter
You’ll score a double century
Or maybe just a ton
You’re Kevin Pietersen

Advertisements

About haighsimpson

25 year old journalism student at leeds metropolitan university View all posts by haighsimpson

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s